We reproduce the following article from Whitelaw Towers:
Nick Folkes has maintained radio silence since Howard Crawford’s Last Supper, but it’s probably just the concussion from hearing Foghorn call him a f*cking idiot on YouTube.
Crawford played Folkes like Punchinello. When the indignity of it all sinks in, Nick will physically sag. If he doesn’t then slump into a coma, he might start breaking stuff, and the cops will be called.
Communications submitted to Whitelaw Towers as part of our joint-intelligence operation with the Australia First Party has indicated that Nick Folkes is wigging out.
We can reveal ahead of our official release of texts from patriot puppet-master Howard Crawford that the pressure has finally got to Nick. He is looking to step down from his beloved Party for Freedom (PFF), and Howard may well have been hornswoggled into considering ace Facebook troll Michael Allan as his replacement.
Imagine that, Howard knowingly planting what he believed was a Socialist Alliance operative inside PFF at the head of the party! But that’s a side of ‘Fuhrer Crawford’ that you good folks will soon be reading all about.
Bear in mind, Nick is also mulling over whether to sell his Ute on Gumtree to cover his legal costs, which we understand to be twenty large. But the Last Supper revealed that Howard is taking care of that; the circumstances of which are about to become another exciting revelation from Howardgate.
That dodgy slush-fund of Howard’s people is probably the one thing saving Nick the dick from suffering a textbook nervous breakdown.
For a boofhead tradie (tradies rule, we’re just saying that Nick is a boofhead) that kind of spondoolix is hard to come by.
Mike Holt would consider pimping out his missus, but Nick does at least have a moral compass. Yet, that compass is spinning wildly out of control in the wake of the court drama. Then there is Nick’s Japanese missus, who despite the cultural differences that kept her mostly ignorant of Nick’s buffoonish ways, is becoming aware through others.
Nick has kids — and as frightening as that is — his offspring depends on him. Can a gentle clown like Folkes justify putting his family’s security at risk playing Crawford’s jester?
Whitelaw Towers understands that Folkes has been making anxious phone calls, and is sounding distressed. Friends are worried. He has been talking to black doggy Andrew Robb.
However, civic patriotism calls, and in the wash-up of Sherm the Germ and Nazi Neil’s attempted mutiny he is expected to step up, so we don’t really know why Howard is fielding new fall guys. Perhaps he senses Nick’s fragile state, but is betting both ways. However, the real question is what becomes of Howie? Will his handlers put him away in a nursing home, or will the old boot insist on another goal?
All we can say is that we are about to find out. As for Nick, if Howard is any sort of mate he’ll call Beyond Blue.