Australia’s Defence White (yellow) Paper 2016 a $195+ billion unaffordable unicorn

So PM Mal has problems finding more tax revenue, but a day later comes up with yet another way to spend money he hasn’t got, while he has a current $300 billion government debt still growing.

Nah worries mate!  On the path to building defence funding up to 2 per cent of GDP, the Government will also “de-couple” its spending on the military from the general health of the economy, so that even if growth slows, defence will still get its 2% share.  Guaranteed, all smiles!

“Milk’n da Defence Dog!”

And then today, the Liberals’ Human Services come Defence Minister, Senator Marise Payne, releases Australia’s biennial Defence White Paper to cost $195 billion over, well, who knows how long? Why didn’t the Libs just round it up to an even $200 Bill?

No worries.   Mal says he’s got an uncommitted $195 billion lying somewhere in the Liberals’ forward, way forward, way distant forward, indeed way distant forward over-the-horizon budget estimates.  Hey, Mal don’t know when; his taxpayer glasses can’t see that far.

Now we had a Defence White Paper back in 2000 and again in 2003 and then another go in 2005 and 2009, 2013, 2015, and now 2016.  But things could change, so to be sure, the 2018 paper has already been assigned back to the same reliable committee.

Be assured though, the Liberals’ Defence surge unicorn is all “fully costed” and will be implemented with “rigorous financial discipline“, yeah but long after Mal’s retired, he promises.

Australian Defence, all dazed with Mal’s billions in promises, is all Gung-ho and sugar-fixed suddenly.  There’ll be memos.  Brass is now promising to be more capable, more agile, leaner, ready to despatch drones from safe Liberal seats (sorry ‘desks’).

Serving Defence Minister Marise PayneParachuted into her first tour of duty – big parachute!


Mal still wants his dozen Japanese subs costing $50 billion, but Marise promises they will be oil and greased in South Oz to maintain local jobs.

Australia's inflatable submarine fleet..well if the Defence Minister can inflate herself and budget..


Mal has promised the Navy a quarter of all new spending on capability will include 9 new anti-submarine warfare frigates.

Is there some submarine war planned in the South China Sea between our Jap and Ching subs?  Please explain!

Firebrand kickarse Mal says he’s also committed to Tony’s 75 Joint Strike Fighters that can only be serviced by manufacturer Lockheed Martin in the US and which the current Chinese J-31 and Russian Su-35 stealth fighters can already outperform.


So what is Canberra’s bunker strategy?  To defend us from Asia, our main trading partners, just in case!  The subs are so he can help the US contain China in its seas 300km off its Hainan coast, some 3000km from Australia.   US Ambassador to Australia John Berry has described this latest White Paper as “ allies, we welcome the Government’s sustained investment in defence capabilities and readiness and its support for rules-based international order.”  Meaning?

Australian security?  White Paper?  Or Yellow Paper?  Another Liberal unicorn?  Apparently, unicorn word is that Australian forces could be committed to odd remote places on the planet no-one has ever heard of.  So we better be prepared, gear up, spend big and be ready for something, apparently, even Global Warming.

Cost:   $195 billion! 

And Mal wants to double the lads in khaki, so there’s a recruitment drive, starting with the Sydney Mardi Gras next month, ladies.

So it’s on.  Australia is gearing up for war in some nether region, over-the-horizon, with drones, joysticks, secret cyber stuff.

Are we talking defence or offence?  Are we trading with China or planning to contain China?   Is it the Dardanelles, Korea and Vietnam repeated?  Aren’t we flogging off Australia to the Chinese anyway?

Australia's Northern Zone

Meanwhile, Australia’s number one security threat is in Sydney and Melbourne with tens of thousands more muzzies entering every year, who hate us.

Islamic Terror invited into AustraliaHyde Park Sydney


Australia’s greatest security threat seems somehow well inside our 12 mile zone.  Bring on Defence Paper re-write 2018.

Australia's Greatest Security Threat